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Hey lovelies, a more thoughtful post tonight for you all. I'm sure it happens to all of us, that moment at night when you can't fall asleep because your brain just won't switch off. You want to be snoozing away in the land of nod but instead you can't stop thinking. I want to share with you my recurring worries, hopes and fears that plague my mind before I can finally drift off to sleep.
1.My degree will get me nowhere - It sounds stupid, I should be optimistic and hopeful for my future, but instead I spend hours worrying about where I will end up, even with a Modern Languages degree in my hands. I fear for ending up stuck in a job I thoroughly resent, a job that I dread waking up for each day because I haven't found what I really wanted to do in time. I fear that I'll get in too deep in an industry that it'll seem useless to go elsewhere.
2. I'll have severe money problems - I knew being a student was never going to be easy money wise, however I was lucky enough to have a job during most of this year, meaning I had to budget less than others. I'm a job freak, I love earning money for myself, not needing to ask my parents for anything, and the fact it's my money means I don't spend it as recklessly. Money insecurity is a real worry of mine, I'm a freak saver and I get so scared that after university I will struggle to find a job and therefore have real money issues. It's a long way off yet but the thought of having nothing but savings to keep me going horrifies me.
3. Never finding my dream profession - I still don't really know what I want to do with my life, and that terrifies me. All my life I knew I wanted to go to university, I couldn't imagine my education ending at A levels. But what next? Not knowing what I want to do yet makes me feel so insecure about my looming adult life, even if I am still a fresher. I'd like to think a job that makes you happy makes your life so much fuller because really who wants to end up hating their job? I hope to find a calling that makes me excited to get out of bed every single day.
4. Losing touch with all the people close to me in life - It's a given that people come in and out of your life, and I fully believe that happens for a reason. I worry that I'll become one of those people that simply loses close connections with my friends due to impossible schedules, living far away from them. I find it hard to close off people I'm very close to, even if I haven't been in touch with them for a while, so hopefully this will prevent me from forgetting to make an effort with them in the future.
Thanks for reading! What keeps you up worrying all night? xx
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