On friendships and dealing with rejection

Saturday 22 September 2018

On Friendships and Dealing With Rejection
 Photos by Tracey at Oh Pretty City
 
Most of us have experienced rejection at some point in our lives, whether that's from a job interview, someone you really fancied or even just entry to a club because you wore the wrong shoes. This year, for the first time ever, I was rejected by a friend. I have been well and truly ghosted, and honestly, it's knocked me for six.

It's been hard to acknowledge and accept for a number of reasons. Firstly, she was quite a new friend and we became close incredibly quickly. Secondly, we leant on each other a lot when we were going through tough times at work and in our personal lives too. Finally, and this is what I've struggled with the most, I have no idea why she stopped talking to me. Nothing that I was aware of had changed between us.

What hurts the most is that she simply stopped replying to me and ignored me continuously for months, and it has irritated the hell out of me to have been left on read and seeing that she has been online, actively choosing to ignore me. 

On Friendships and Dealing With Rejection
I really treasure my friends, and I'm forever grateful for the amazing people in my life that always make time and look out for me. I have searched endlessly for a reason that might explain why she rejected me. It's felt like coming to terms with a break-up, but I'm sure most will agree that it's harder to find closure and move on from it when there is no explanation as to why that relationship has broken down. 

I tend to take failure to heart and I've obsessed and racked my brain silly over this, but I'm slowly reaching a point where I no longer see myself at fault. I gave her one last chance to talk to me about what was going on, to help me understand the situation better and make peace with it. She didn't reply.

So, I'm beginning to remove myself from this situation which has consumed me for a while. Perhaps none of this was to do with me, perhaps something else has gone on in her life that I don't know about. But I realised that the longer I sit mulling this over, the longer this will affect me. Rejection is a fact of life that we can't always control, and I'm working to stop letting it take control of me. 

Thanks for reading! Have you been ghosted by a friend before? How did you deal with the situation and move forward? 
 

2 comments

  1. I'm so sorry to hear this lovely. I've been through similar in the past by a friend and it really hurts, but it makes you realise a lot about that person too.

    https://www.chloexlizabeth.com <3

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    Replies
    1. You're so sweet Chloe! You're so right - it often says so much more about the other person than yourself. Thanks for reading x

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